<p>– Io amu m-oi duce, Marie, ca mi-a sosit ceasul. Asculta aici ce-ti spun.</p>
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<p>Maria, suspinand:</p>
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<p>– Zi, Ioane, si asa oi face!</p>
<p>– Sa tii gospodaria, Marie, sa nu vinzi nimic, sa aiba copiii astia cand or creste mari.</p>
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<p>Maria, suspinand:</p><div class="amp-ad-wrapper amp_ad_1 ampforwp-incontent-custom-banner ampforwp-incontent-ad3"><amp-ad width="336" height="280" type="sulvo" data-ad="andreilaslau.ro_amp_display_336x280" class="demand-supply"></amp-ad></div>
<p>– Asa oi face, Ioane…</p>
<p>– Sa dai copiii la scoala, sa iasa invatati, Marie!</p>
<p>Maria, suspinand:</p>
<p>– Asa oi face, Ioane…</p>
<p>– Si mai vreau, Marie, ca dupa ce m-oi duce sa te mariti cu Gheorghe!</p>
<p>– Da’ Ioane, credeam ca Gheorghe e dusmanul tau cel mai mare.</p>
<p>– Pai tocmai de-aia…</p>
<p>BONUS:</p>
<p><strong>Ardeleanul si canibanii.</strong></p>
<p>Un francez, un rus şi un ardelean sunt prinşi de canibali.</p>
<p>„O să vă mâncăm” zic ei, „dar înainte vă îndeplinim o ultimă dorinţă”</p>
<p>Francezul vrea o femeie. Canibalii i-o dau, apoi îl aruncă în oală.</p>
<p>Rusul vrea o vodcă. Canibalii îl servesc, apoi îl aruncă în oală.</p>
<p>Ardeleanul zice: „eu vreau să vă aşezaţi toţi în şir, de la mic la mare, şi să îmi daţi fiecare câte o palmă!”.</p><div class="b03d97280e765d707d336f444dd9d428" data-index="5" style="float: none; margin:0px 0 0px 0; text-align:center;">
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<p>Puţin uimiţi, canibalii se conformează. La sfârşit, după ce şi ultimul canibal îl plesneşte pe ardelean, acesta scoate o mitralieră de sub parpalac şi îi împuşcă pe toţi.</p><div class="amp-ad-wrapper amp_ad_1 ampforwp-incontent-custom-banner ampforwp-incontent-ad1"><amp-ad width="336" height="280" type="sulvo" data-ad="andreilaslau.ro_amp_display_336x280" class="demand-supply"></amp-ad></div>
<p>– Cuuuummm? Aveai mitraliera şi ne-ai lăsat să ne perpelim aici?? De ce nu i-ai împuşcat de la început??? strigă rusul şi francezul din oală.</p>
<p>– Păi, nu eram destul de nervos!</p>
<p>BONUS:</p>
<p><strong>Trei tipi mor.</strong></p>
<p>Trei tipi mor si ajung la poarta Raiului.</p>
<p>Sf Petru ii intreaba:</p>
<p>De cate ori v-ati inselat nevestele?</p>
<p>-Niciodata in 30 de ani de casnicie,zice primul.</p>
<p>-Ok,poftim un Mercedes sa te plimbi cu el prin Rai.Dar tu?</p>
<p>-Eu o singura data in 43 de ani de casnicie,zice al doilea.</p>
<p>-Poftim.Tu ai un Opel.Iar tu?</p>
<p>-Eu de vreo 10 ori in 20 de ani de casnicie.</p>
<p>-Aoleu,ce rau ai fost.Dar pentru ca ai fost sincer poftim un Logan.</p>
<p>Dupa 2 saptamani,se intalnesc cei trei intr-o intersectie.</p>
<p>Cel care a primit Mercedesul plangea</p>
<p>-Da de ce plangi, mai? Ai primit cea mai buna masina!</p>
<p>-Da,adevarat,dar saptamana trecuta a murit sotia mea. Si am vazut-o azi prin Rai…pe role.</p>
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